What every girl needs: Guy Friends

I went on a trip yesterday. 

The weather was absolutely perfect to go to the beach. I sped down the winding road trying to keep up with my friend’s car in front of me and with the sunshine peeking in through the trees and my friends half singing & laughing to the Maroon 5 blasting inside my car I couldn’t help but smile. The kind of smile that starts from the inside. 

A smile that led to a conclusion & the conclusion was this: 

Every girl needs a set of guy friends.

We got to the beach and started to set up site. Yes everyone, we were roughing it out for the weekend. Literally camping out in tents by the beach. Star gazing, bonfires with s'mores & of course, Kings Cup & Truth or Dare all on the checklist. And as I watched some of my guy friends pitch the tents, the other prepare the food, the others get the fire on the grill going, I glanced at Des and smiled. The smile that you smile on the inside. thinking just how lucky me and her were to have these crazy bastards in our lives. And I thought, how many other girls in the world were lucky enough to have this many unofficial brothers in their lives? 

I have never really considered myself as a tomboy, but I do consider myself as one of the boys. Now that I think about it,  I have always had a steady group of guy friends. Having two brothers just made interacting with guys on a platonic level so much easier. 

Which is why I find it so unfortunate that our issue-hungry society doesn’t take on the idea of a girl with a bunch of guy friends too well. Having spent my elementary and high school years in the good ol US of A, I was surprised to find that the intermingling of boy-girl friendships here in the Philippines didn’t trek a smoother road. Maybe it’s those traditional and conservative values that have somewhat distorted the perception. Whatever the case may be, I have always found that (based on my limited experience here) any friendship a girl has with a [straight & available] guy is always slapped head on with an issue or another long round of gossip. Are you guilty? What are your perceptions or judgements when you see a big barkada group consisting of a girl and a bunch of guys? Do you immediately slap on the label of slut/malandi? Can’t a girl just hang out with a big group of guy friends na walang halong malisya or issue? 

Can’t a girl and guy just be friends?

I personally believe she/they can (with a few rules). Now, don’t get me wrong darlings, there are plenty of idiots out there, idiots who can and will take advantage of you. I am well aware that a lot of the times, guys use the friendship card as their MO to try to wrestle their way into your hearts. I mean it’s the making of a Star Cinema film, girl and boy are best friends since forever and all of a sudden realize they are in love with each other? Gag.  Maybe it’s one of the biggest walls to the ideal platonic friendship, but imagine, imagine how wonderful a friendship would be if you could completely eliminate that friendship-turned-love notion? 

A girl needs guy friends.

Why?

1. Admit it or not, but guys have a very different sense of humor. Immature at times maybe, but you gotta admit that they add a dash of hilarity to otherwise normal situations. 

2. You remember the eternal, “Does my butt look big in these jeans?” question that we dread asking our significant others? Well, your guy friends wont lie to you. If your butt looks big, they will tell you, without reservation or hesitation. That the beauty of having guy friends who have absolutely no wish to have anything romantic with you. 

They don’t bullshit you. 

3. And because they don’t bullshit you, your group of guy friends will give you the best advice. You get the “guy’s perspective” And trust me, you want a guys perspective, especially if it involves a problem with another guy.  

4. You gain another big brother.  Or in my case another team of big brothers. What do   the best brothers provide? Security. A big brother watches over you, calls you out when you've done something wrong, and of course is always there to beat a stupid boy up for you! ( haha jk) I think that is the best part about my guy friends and partly why I am so blessed to have them. But really...

They protect your feelings without trying to manipulate them. 

And thats the kind of quality in a friendship that’s worth maintaining. Now, I am in no way shape or form encouraging you all to go out there and be BFF’s with the next group of guys you meet. Chances are, if you feel like you can’t trust them, you probably can’t. Which is why, once again, I feel so very blessed to have such wonderful people in my life that I can trust and count on when times get rough.  

We were all in the water half an hour past six when I told myself to make a mental note to remember the moment. We were all swimming in the middle of the cove, and with my feet digging into the warm, soft sand I looked up at the sky as it turned into dusk.
And once again I found myself smiling, another smile that started from the inside. It was getting dark and I couldn’t make out any of my friends' faces. We were all just shadows swimming in the middle of nothing and everything.

One of my guy friends cracked a joke. 

The joke? I don’t remember. 

I do remember Des’ laugh as it blended into the guys hysterics. 

And once more I was smiling.

Smiling the smile that starts from the inside 

but was now making it's way home spread widely across my face. 

And once again I told myself to remember.