"When I met you I thought I had found the person that I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I was done. So all the boys and all the bars and all the daddy issues, who cared? Because I was done. You left me! I'm all glued back together now. I make no apologies for how I chose to repair what you broke."
"Don't ever be afraid to lose what was never meant to be."
Hello Darlings.
This has been the latest attempt at my otherwise fickle push to record the musings of my brain. The result of 5 diaries, 3 xangas, 1 livejournal, and 1 wordpress collected throughout the last 10 years of my amateur writing life. I have contemplated, and outlined, and read, and thought, and thought and thought and thought of what the perfect first entry would consist of. I have went through more than a dozen possible beginnings that all ended up me hitting DELETE,DELETE, DELETE.
But today, on no particularly special day, as I sped to the office this afternoon alone in my car, with The Script unapologetically blasting from my speakers, and both my eyes and windshield straining to see despite the water and saline, I thought...
Maybe the reason why everyone is so ready to record the most useless information in their lives, whether it be through a tweet or ig post or a blog is more than just a shallow attempt at internet fame (although some are but I'd like to give the ‘madlang people’ the benefit of the doubt). It is the human condition to want to matter. It is the human condition to want to be remembered. It is the human condition to want to be happy. Yes, to show others that we have a great life, because maybe, just maybe, if others' believe it, it will justify it for ourselves. That we are not wasting our hours. That our actions every day somehow mean something to someone, somewhere behind a computer screen or through the face of their smart phone.
Would I say that this is my attempt to matter, that this is my attempt to record my life so that I will be remembered? No, not entirely anyway. You know, I have always believed that experience is the best teacher. Experience has a way of kicking your ass like no lecture, no pep talk, no heart to heart ever will. But it does not mean that learning from others’ experiences will not somehow help you along the way. So this is my way of sharing, this is my contribution. My stories, my random thoughts, my experiences, my heartbreaks, my triumphs and the lessons I have learned along the way, which, in my heart of hearts, I do hope help in some sort of way in the journey that you are all individually and uniquely going through.
So cheers! To Life’s painful goodbyes, beautiful beginnings and the chances given to us in between. The chances we get to wake up and live each and every day...
...with Hope, with Faith, with Strength, And with Love.
