Beyond the Se[e/a].

I've been dreaming a lot about anchors lately.

Not quite sure if its because of the post-beach trip still on my mind but for some reason or another I cannot seem to forget the feeling of my toes in the sand, my heart in the sea and my head in the clouds. That and a sermon a couple weeks back during mass that struck more than the usually lonely chord. 

I found my spot next to my baby sister along the aisles of seats. I was late, unfortunately, as I tuned in and realized that the priest was already half way through his sermon. Unfortunate I say the least, because as soon as I honed on to his words, I immediately realized I had already missed the introduction to one heck of a relatable sermon (aren't those the best kinds?) He likened all of our internal processes to the sea as he had observed the majority of those he encountered all possessed a quality that I was also guilty of more often then not. Most of us are overly emotional. The sea is so fickle he explained, one minute it is calm and quiet, the next a raging storm of fifty foot waves. But the man had a point, how often do our emotions fluctuate to those extremes? Do yours? ( Raises hand. ) Who gets too involved? (Raises hand.) Who gets exhausted? ( Raises hand.) Who looks like a completely crazy bipolar schizophrenic afterwards? (Raises hand.) Do you want to know why this happens? 

It is because we anchor ourselves to the wrong things. We tie our anchors of happiness, wholeness, and peace of mind to the never ending waves of people, expectations and disappointments. The priest then proceeded to saying this: We must anchor ourselves to God. Only then he said, will we achieve what you find 30 feet below the sea. Thirty feet below where the sea meets the sky, the water is calm. It does not matter whether the sun is shinning or the storms are terrorizing. Thirty feet below the water is calm. The water is steady. The water is safe. 

Needless to say I wanted to give the man a standing ovation after his sermon. 

But darlings, we know change doesn't come over night. And in between the time I have heard that sermon and now as I type these words at my favorite coffee shop, I will confess that I have had more than one emotional moment. A moment likened to seeing your poor little ship drowning in an abyss of water. 

I do, however, guarantee you this:

 Anchor your soul to God and your ship will always find it's way to port.

And if another storm comes along the way, 
and you find your sails struck by lightning, 
have faith and you will find that...

You will not shatter.
You will not break.
You will not crack.

Your insides do not fall into themselves in a series of organ failures. Your chest does not get heavy or constrict. Your hopes are not diminished, your worth is not on trial. 

You are not taken aback.
You do not flinch.
You do not bat a fucking eye lash.

Because you find that you are no longer the rock silently suffering as  it gets beaten back by the constant crash of the water. You are not the bullying waves, slaves to the highs and lows of it's emotions, it's insecurities, it's fatal inconsistency. 

You are the sunshine that peaks through the clouds.
You are the song in the heart of the weary sailor.
You are the promise in each breaking light of dawn. 

A promise that washes over with every wave. 
A song that echoes through every storm.


A song.
A promise.
That you are strong.
You are steady.

You are safe.

What every girl needs: Guy Friends

I went on a trip yesterday. 

The weather was absolutely perfect to go to the beach. I sped down the winding road trying to keep up with my friend’s car in front of me and with the sunshine peeking in through the trees and my friends half singing & laughing to the Maroon 5 blasting inside my car I couldn’t help but smile. The kind of smile that starts from the inside. 

A smile that led to a conclusion & the conclusion was this: 

Every girl needs a set of guy friends.

We got to the beach and started to set up site. Yes everyone, we were roughing it out for the weekend. Literally camping out in tents by the beach. Star gazing, bonfires with s'mores & of course, Kings Cup & Truth or Dare all on the checklist. And as I watched some of my guy friends pitch the tents, the other prepare the food, the others get the fire on the grill going, I glanced at Des and smiled. The smile that you smile on the inside. thinking just how lucky me and her were to have these crazy bastards in our lives. And I thought, how many other girls in the world were lucky enough to have this many unofficial brothers in their lives? 

I have never really considered myself as a tomboy, but I do consider myself as one of the boys. Now that I think about it,  I have always had a steady group of guy friends. Having two brothers just made interacting with guys on a platonic level so much easier. 

Which is why I find it so unfortunate that our issue-hungry society doesn’t take on the idea of a girl with a bunch of guy friends too well. Having spent my elementary and high school years in the good ol US of A, I was surprised to find that the intermingling of boy-girl friendships here in the Philippines didn’t trek a smoother road. Maybe it’s those traditional and conservative values that have somewhat distorted the perception. Whatever the case may be, I have always found that (based on my limited experience here) any friendship a girl has with a [straight & available] guy is always slapped head on with an issue or another long round of gossip. Are you guilty? What are your perceptions or judgements when you see a big barkada group consisting of a girl and a bunch of guys? Do you immediately slap on the label of slut/malandi? Can’t a girl just hang out with a big group of guy friends na walang halong malisya or issue? 

Can’t a girl and guy just be friends?

I personally believe she/they can (with a few rules). Now, don’t get me wrong darlings, there are plenty of idiots out there, idiots who can and will take advantage of you. I am well aware that a lot of the times, guys use the friendship card as their MO to try to wrestle their way into your hearts. I mean it’s the making of a Star Cinema film, girl and boy are best friends since forever and all of a sudden realize they are in love with each other? Gag.  Maybe it’s one of the biggest walls to the ideal platonic friendship, but imagine, imagine how wonderful a friendship would be if you could completely eliminate that friendship-turned-love notion? 

A girl needs guy friends.

Why?

1. Admit it or not, but guys have a very different sense of humor. Immature at times maybe, but you gotta admit that they add a dash of hilarity to otherwise normal situations. 

2. You remember the eternal, “Does my butt look big in these jeans?” question that we dread asking our significant others? Well, your guy friends wont lie to you. If your butt looks big, they will tell you, without reservation or hesitation. That the beauty of having guy friends who have absolutely no wish to have anything romantic with you. 

They don’t bullshit you. 

3. And because they don’t bullshit you, your group of guy friends will give you the best advice. You get the “guy’s perspective” And trust me, you want a guys perspective, especially if it involves a problem with another guy.  

4. You gain another big brother.  Or in my case another team of big brothers. What do   the best brothers provide? Security. A big brother watches over you, calls you out when you've done something wrong, and of course is always there to beat a stupid boy up for you! ( haha jk) I think that is the best part about my guy friends and partly why I am so blessed to have them. But really...

They protect your feelings without trying to manipulate them. 

And thats the kind of quality in a friendship that’s worth maintaining. Now, I am in no way shape or form encouraging you all to go out there and be BFF’s with the next group of guys you meet. Chances are, if you feel like you can’t trust them, you probably can’t. Which is why, once again, I feel so very blessed to have such wonderful people in my life that I can trust and count on when times get rough.  

We were all in the water half an hour past six when I told myself to make a mental note to remember the moment. We were all swimming in the middle of the cove, and with my feet digging into the warm, soft sand I looked up at the sky as it turned into dusk.
And once again I found myself smiling, another smile that started from the inside. It was getting dark and I couldn’t make out any of my friends' faces. We were all just shadows swimming in the middle of nothing and everything.

One of my guy friends cracked a joke. 

The joke? I don’t remember. 

I do remember Des’ laugh as it blended into the guys hysterics. 

And once more I was smiling.

Smiling the smile that starts from the inside 

but was now making it's way home spread widely across my face. 

And once again I told myself to remember.

OOTD: Fly fly away in my H&M top

I'm starting to fall in love with all things with wings ( maybe because I'm trying to mend mine!) so this H&M baby pink top with printed flying birds is hands down one of my favorite tanks. Another trick when you're super lazy, wear almost everything else except your statement piece in one color. Your safest bet? Black. A girl can do no wrong in black. Well, fashion wise anyway.

Tank : H&M

Bottoms: Greenhills

Necklace: Greenhills

Watch: BCBG

Platform brogues: Forever21

Le Caprice Look 2 : Here kitty, kitty.

With the cat craze taking over the world, I am hardly surprised to see an array of pretty little kitties printed on maxies, sweaters, cropped tops & just about any other article of clothing ( including jewelry!) This, hands down, is my favorite Le Caprice look. Pretty printed stockings under an oversized darling sweater (check out the detail!). Of course my favorite part of this look is the cute pearl kitty ears headband. By far the cutest hair accessory I've seen. What do you think? 

Oh and have you visited shoplecaprice.com yet? 

P.S Sorry for the delay in posts darlings, this site is gonna get another revamp soon! Please bare with me! xo

Le Caprice Look 1 : Vintage Charm

Hi Darlings! The following are some out take shots from my Le Caprice shoot! No worries though, i'll be posting the other looks later this month! 

www.shoplecaprice.com

My pin says it all: 

"vintage charm is incomparable. "

Letran's #CELweek's Social Media & Education Lectures & Fora

I've been meaning to blog about Letran's #CELweek's Social Media & Education Lectures & Fora held last September 27, 2013. Blame me and my vulnerability to procrastination but I guess I was just waiting for inspiration to hit. [Un]fortunately I was graced with occurrences that have somewhat fueled the fire (or rage?) to finally tackle this topic. 

I was blessed enough to be speaking with a talented pool of young professionals. Among those speaking was amazing photographer and videographer Kit deSilva and the very funny Youtube sensation Lloyd Cadena. I was asked to prepare two lectures, the first about how to be #Twitterific! and the second to discuss to the attendees the absolute No-Nos! for students on their social media sites. 

Now let me start by clarifying this,  I am no social media expert.  I am not a celebrity nor do I have a million followers.  I am just a normal, boring social media user-slash-consumer whore. Now, I will not discuss every point of my lecture but I will discuss with you darlings my two favorite points/tips:  

1. Don't ever tweet anything you cannot say in person. 

This may be the golden rule that we all unfortunately violate. Constantly plugged into our social networking sites, its almost unimaginable how we'd survive not checking twitter updates or instagram posts. This generation has evolved with an extra limb: the smart phone attached permanently to our fingers. The fact cannot be ignored however that as much progress as social media has celebrated in making connecting with others faster and easier, the same cannot be praised about the quality of our interactions. Haven't you noticed how much braver people are when they are sitting behind a computer? Or hiding behind their smart phone? When used for the greater good, this can obviously be a wonderful thing. But with haters, posers and "parinigers" galore, keeping in mind this simple rule of not tweeting anything you cannot say in person is actually a really smart move. 

As I reiterated, over and over again during the fora, think before you click. Or in this case, think before you tweet, because the truth is, you can't really take it back. What we post online can live forever. ( I'm expecting the violent reactions: "Sab, theres a delete button! Delete button! God, delete, delete, delete! " ) Yes my dears, I am quite aware that there is always the delete button. I am sorry to disappoint you all however but hand in hand with the word DELETE, you may find another word before it. The word  S C R E E N S H O T.

2. Your self worth is not directly proportional to the amount of followers or likes you get. 

This is actually one of the biggest points I wanted to make during my talk. I have gotten so many questions about how to deal with haters, posers and cyber bullies. We live in a generation where everyone is gunning for their fame online and using ( or manipulating?)  social networking sites to achieve it.  (It should be considered that maybe the eternal issue of body image is evolving into an online image problem.) The world wide web has given all of us the means to broadcast and project our deepest secrets and alter egos. Maybe the birth of online action stars like Ramon Bautista and super fashion bloggers like Kriz Uy has all of us eyeing their 6-7 digit follower count. Of course, there is nothing wrong with online fame, I just hope no one gets completely defined by it (too many opportunities for a distorted perception of reality).  If I had my way, we wouldn't be able to see the amount of followers a person had, mainly so we wouldn't intentionally/unintentionally judge someone because of it. So let me repeat: there is no direct correlation between the number of likes/followers a person has and their value as a human being or ability to contribute positively to society. 

The fora ended on a high note when one of my students asked the last question for the day. After discussing brand images and managing expectations to her and the rest of my Integrated Marketing Communications class, she was now redirecting the question to me and my fellow speakers: 

How do you manage haters and negative comments? How do you manage the expectations of your followers? 

I cannot personally quote the other speakers but it is safe to say that the majority of our answers were going hand in hand down the same road. We all should keep in mind that everyone can look at one thing and see it completely differently. We all have our own interpretations and perceptions on ideas, things, places... and people. Often we forget that how we see and project ourselves is never really the same as how others perceive us. Besides how hard would it be to please an audience with conflicting expectations? It's a lose-lose situation. But when you stay true to the inner good in you, you always always win, even when you lose a follower or two. 

Remember darlings, this applies on and off line:

 " If you live off a man's compliments, you will die from his criticism. "